Some people in my family call me delusionally optimistic, and I would agree. This spring/summer that trait knocked me off my socks…we’ll not really but you get my drift. I stubbornly believed the movie I was working on was going to make me rich and famous…I know, I know. The stupid Hollywood fantasy got in my system. And because I so strongly held this belief, when everything started crumbly around i.e. not getting paid on time and people quitting I just told myself, this is my chance and I’m going to prove everyone wrong! Tip, NEVER try to prove anyone wrong. Just focus on yourself. Focusing on others is just a distraction. If I had been more realistic i.e. not thinking this was my one shot at wealth and fame, I would have left when I didn’t get paid on time. But I thought I needed this gig.
The truth was, the gig needed me more than I needed it. Something I realized way too late into the game. On May 15th when I literally got kicked of the hotel I was staying in, my delusion had broken, and when the person who hired me said I wouldn’t be getting paid and he didn’t have any money for me to get home, it was completely shattered.
I felt so ashamed and hurt and really really really stupid. I put myself in this position. No one forced me to come to NOLA. I did it willingly and look where it got me. I used the little money I had to sleep in a dingy Airbnb in the garden district and try to figure out a plan to get home. I couldn’t call my parents. I didn’t want to hear “I told you so”. I needed a job as soon as I got to NY and I briefly considered staying in NOLA out of pure embarrassment. But my parents didn’t raise no punk.
My cousin got me a one way ticket back to new york and I got the guts to tell my mom what was really going on and I needed a ride from the airport since I was flat broke. She was really understanding and genuinely felt bad for me because she knew how much I wanted to produce this film. Yet and still I wasn’t ready to tell friends or family I was in NY and the film was a bust. I quietly got a job with a temp agency where I worked in midtown as a leasing agent. I was ready to take a break from entertainment and really questioned if I had “it”. I felt really unlucky and gullible. Maybe I needed to do something else and film could be my hobby?
Three weeks into my job I get an email asking if i would be interested in working as an Accounting clerk on a CBS Television show. Is water wet?! Hell yeah! I interviewed and made sure I left 3 hours early just so I could make the interview and get to work on time.
Long story short, I got the job and its awesome. I love working here and quite frankly Im upset we get July 3rd and 4th off because I want to be working. I’m learning so much about accounting and the studio system and this experience has taught me so much about myself and pitfalls to look out for when accepting a job offer. Life is cray, ya’ll.