Scared to be Black

So this has been on my mind for a while since I’ve been in LA. At first it was hard to pinpoint because I didn’t want to believe it. Okay, so here it is. The black people in LA are afraid to be black. I said it. They are always apologizing for their blackness, even to black people. Its like they’re trying to prove they don’t love themselves. Like being self deprecating somehow makes them a better person.

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At first I noticed I didn’t see many black couples. I saw white couples, mexican couples and interracial couples, but I would rarely see black couples and I thought that was weird. When I asked a black guy about it, he alluded that black men weren’t attracted to black women in LA and I asked a black woman she she pretty much said the same thing. She also said black women weren’t “trending”. Weird?!

I also have these conversations where I saw i love to support black business and they want to shy away from being a black business. What is that about? I’m tScreen Shot 2015-09-08 at 11.26.12 PMelling you I am happy to give you my money, are you a retard?!

Its such a such coming from New York City, because New Yorkers LOVE being black and there is so much pride. I guess i need to learn more of the history of LA black relations to learn why the black people don’t love themselves. Its really annoying actually. A friend of mine calls it a disease. These people who are afraid to be black and are desperately seeking the approval of white people. It makes me uncomfortable being here because I actually like myself and there are not many black people like me out her. Everyone wants to sanitize their blackness and apologize for it, and it makes me sick.

Its weird because we enslave ourselves when we don’t want to be associated with our own people. White people don’t cut themselves off from their communities. That’s crazy, but I see it so much here and it really breaks my heart. You can’t love anyone else if you don’t love yourself first.

Nydia Simone

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3 thoughts on “Scared to be Black

  1. jason says:

    I agree! I used to live in LA. I think there aren’t a lot of black couples in LA because of a few reasons. In my opinion, it’s a city of dreams. I saw that a lot of black women loved their lifestyle/career, and chose to be single. And, there are few black men out there who are financially stable… period.
    Plus a lot of black families who are from LA, live in Crenshaw, Compton, or Inglewood, and they don’t go out of their neighborhoods too much. But, check out Onechurhla.org off of La Brea in West Hollywood, you can get connected with a lot of purpose filled young black people.

    • nydiasimone says:

      I guess that could play into it too. A lot of black women are killing in the career game and are not going to settle for less. I’ve been to that church a few times. I don’t go anymore though.

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